My Soul Sisters

For some reason I am just now starting to realize how much I am going to miss my soul sisters and how spread out we are going to be! Why have I been so shady this semester? Maybe I was trying not to deal with it. I don’t know, but I love those guys so much. Erin, Maresa, and Jess are the ones that have made Missouri what is for me. That is why I look forward to coming back. Well have everyone seems to having their life tossed around right now, why not mine? Who do I think I am where the world does not affect me? Thank God at least I know that I will be able to visit them and that my job allows me the time and money. But what if I get married or something. AHHH. What a scary thought. Why am I so scared of marriage? DUH! Do I really have to ask myself that? My thoughts constantly drift back to Nels even though I think that I will not be with him. I guess cause he is the only boy I have seen around these parts that there is a possibility that there could be something. I think God has a plan! Funny of course he does. He had a plan for your life before you were born, for you to bring people to Christ. He is really close to his family and my family is all the way in Texas. He likes to hunt and would not like cutting a up a deer. Actually I think I would like that, but just having to eat it all the time would get on my nerves. I would be praying for deer season to be over the second it begins. But there are always ways around that. It probably won’t happen, but it makes me happy to think that there was a guy that was interested in me and I am not helatiously ugly! LOL

I also must realize that everything is not just going to get better because I get married. I think sometimes, as women, we think all our problems will be solved once we get married. I mean our souls are redeemed in childbirth, at least that is what the bible says and I believe the bible to be true. Sometimes I feel inept in my Christianity and I do not know enough about you Jesus, then that motivates me to read but I don’t! What is the dealio? I just thought that would be a funny name for a child, Dealio come here. Oh that kid would get heckled so much.

Then I think about my friend Sandra who had so much promise and still does, but she got swept up in the world, and she did not have enough a stable family background to help motivate her to excel in her life. She is almost fighting against it. I want to help her. I talked to her about Jesus and we went to Church together when I went home. I think my mission for when I go home is to talk to her more about Jesus and be a witness to her about your love. Good idea, uh? So that’s good my life has a meaning, a purpose. Like it never did. I could work on Michelle as well. FUN, I am excited that I get to do work in God’s kingdom. I don’t want to be a bitter old maid, God! Save me through child birth. You know I am so faithful to you that I will not have children until I am married. Save me Lord. You know who my heart is with now.

Satan tries to put thoughts in my head like if you marry a white guy he will leave you one day, because this is not what he thought he signed up for. At that point I just put on my armor of God and give the devil out of my head on his but fat butt. GET OUT!!! I am writing because I want to be able to remember the things that I have overcome. “Don not fear the world for I have overcome the world.”-God