Shake it Off

Today was another day, but a good day. I had an assignment to shoot a theatre dress rehearsal that was for a possible 1a centerpiece. I really was not happy with how it turned out, but I could not really express how I felt about the shoot. Mark looked at my work. I had such a hard time shooting cause I only had natural indoor lighting to deal with, which is good and bad. I had a lot of motion blur on my part and the people I was photographing. The backgrounds were horrendous. But enough complaining. Its done. I like to think of one of my favorite songs right now, breath by Telepopmusik. Its just another day, and all I have to do is believe in myself, breathe, and just breathe. Just believe.



I can hear it in my head like theme musik. I love it. That song cuts things down to the basics and then the song is bare bones too. So it works well together. But the song really isn't as bare as it sounds. There are at least like five layers to the mixing and such. The way she sings sounds so exposed, bare, almost desperate. That's what I like. Raw emotion. So I feel weird when I can not express how I really feel. I feel scared sometimes, I feel confused, overwhelmed, all at the same time and sometimes not all at the same time. I should be used to it by now, but I am not. Its weird being the intern. I told Josie today that I feel like I am in permanent Limbo right now. Would I feel better if I was in a permanent position somewhere? Or would I find something else to feel weird about just to mess with my own head. The messed up thing is that I play games with myself. I think just to keep things interesting. I think my subconscious gets bored and is like what can I do to "F" with Kim now. Ugh, I am crazy. Fo sho' People act like they are all normal and they don't have these kind of thoughts, but I know they are lying because I can tell when I look at them. They way they dress like they have everything together and laugh the loudest when someone tells a joke while looking around to make sure everyone notices what a good time they are having. I see you...I can see you like a white balloon in a red sky. I told you I was normal. :0)