Useless Desire

How easy it is for a guy to snag a girl. Girls for the most part are not picky. All they need is for a guy to love them and commit to them and you've got them for life. I guess if you want them for the rest of your life, is where it gets tricky. How come girls are willing to work with faults, but guys want girls to be perfect? Well you know what I am not perfect and I am tired of guys sniffing around but not willing to give all their heart. You have to be careful around me, because if I feel like you will never make up your mind or are just trying to burn me, you are instantly out. And no matter how much you beg to get back in its not going to happen. So be careful how you bend me, like Patty Griffin sings so eloquently. Not only does that knock you out of the runnings, but it also puts holes in my heart where flowers used to grow. I am tired of guys with trepadatious, wounded hearts, and claiming that girls have all the power, but the girsl are the ones that feel powerless. Who makes the first move? guys. Who decides that they are going to be together? guys. So tell me where girls have the power. Cause I just don't see it. I could be more manipulative by batting of eyes more, turning up the heat, and wearing clothes to get their attention. But I don't want to be that girl. I want a guy to notice me because of me. To know that this one has value and is special as all the stars point to her for you. Is that kind of love possible? But that really does not work. And normally you just catch stuff that you would much rather just throw back into the ocean than find out what it tastes like, and find out if its lobster or just looks like crawfish. My father says that mean have certain standards, at least five, that women have to meet before they think of that women as the one they want to settle down with and that i should have those same standards. The ones that he mentioned were compatibility, unconditional love, successful career, and a faith/religion in the same God. I see nothing wrong with that. Why be with someone that will make you miserable, when you can be single and happy? Their is nothing wrong with being single. I just recently found out that a cousin who is younger than me was diagnosed with HIV. On top of that, like thats not enough, she is pregnant and the baby has HIV as well. She is engaged to be married and her and her fiance just bought a house together. She has had abortions before, but I guess this one is a keeper. I don't see why she never found out before, unless this guy is the one that gave it to her. What if he knew he had it and wanted her to get it so they could be together? That would be crazy. The world is a crazy place today. Sin has definitely taken over.



To get a guy that lights your fire, you have to really go after him and I don't think I am there yet. I was watching Laguna Beach tonight. Don't ask why. And i realized that I was on the verge of being Jessica. For those that watch Laguna, you know exactly what I am talking about. Always gambling your heart out, blindly hoping that the bet will pay off and you will have a partner for life. But that always turns out bad and things are always hard to define, because you are afraid to make him define it. Or it is defined but the guy is a player. But it seems that she might have found love in a younger chap. When in doubt about a relationship, I have learned you have to give the guy tons of space. Three things will happen during this time of justation. One you will either find out that he does not care for you, that he is madly, deeply truly in love with you, or that you really just don't care for him. Either which way, your questions will be answered no matter if you like the answer or not. I can respect a guy not really knowing what he wants. Cause most of the time I don't know what I want either. I am normally lead by the guy. My mother spells indecisiveness MEN for short. LOL That is true. They want too much. One thing that I am is loyal. Once I make up my mind, it is hard to change it, unless you hurt me beyond recovery.