There Eyes Were Watching God

My eyes flutter open and then close again. Constant as the rain, light as bright as streaming shadow between lashes that swat at the darkness, fighting for the light, but cannot see it. Sleepily glancing out at the world.
Doesn't it seem like everybody is waiting for something? Waiting for the new year to start over, waiting for the love of their life, waiting for Jesus to come back. I know what I am waiting for. I am waiting for it to find me. I don't know how to look for it so how could I do anything else but wait? Or am I afraid? Afraid of what it might do to me. Or maybe I am looking, but it does not exist for me. Maybe I am meant to be alone. Maybe Love is just a small part of what I am looking for, really. I just want an answer...an answer to whY I feel this way. There are no mis TAKES in life. Everything is purposeful, fluid and the only thing that is certain is sadness. Its such an easy emotion. Much easier than happiness, or love. I wonder why that is. The bible does talk about how sadness is promised to us all and when it rains it just doesn't rain on one man's house. That can mean so many things. It mean that your personal actions not only affect you but others. So if you don't care that its going to rain, make sure you don't care who else is going to be affected by your rain.



Detroit, Detroit. I really don't know what to say about this city. I can tell I am getting used to it, because I am no longer affected by the stares like i used to be. Now it just rolls off my back. Or when someone is rude to me and belittles me, questioning if I am telling the truth that I am a photographer, I just accept it and move on. Ok sir, if you don't want me to use your photos because you don't believe me than thats ok. No one trusts no one here. I guess that is mid-east. I am not in Kansas anymore Toto. The things you take for granted. Funny huh?



I feel like rocking out, but when I went on my partying fit, I had to go to work the next day with 5 hours of sleep and I could! not! hang, a bit! I was so tired and wrecked. I look at myself in the mirror and I can see myself getting older for the first time in my life. It is kind of scary. Before I always looked the same to myself. Now I can't even tell who that old lady is :0) But Man is she bossy. She is always demanding something of me.



So whatever you are waiting for, I hope it finds you. No more searching, no more lonliness, no more sadness. Just Joy! An everlasting glow that illuminates, radiates, permeates your skin, your blood, your heart. Making you whole in the eyes of God, you bow. Humbled by his glory and moved by his constant love. Is that what I am looking for? Is that enough? If it was GOd would make it that way. He would not have created this desire in us to be with someone. To be a couple, a union.